Since most of you do not remember signing the Aperture contract, and we are legally required to show it to you, I have posted it here.
It's somewhat long, so I have placed it here

And yes, you all signed it, regardless of whether you were conscious and someone was using your hand to hold a writing implement or not.

All test subjects sign a waiver and contract to be test subjects. We do not kidnap anyone here at Apeature Laboratories. Just because they don't read the fine print about signing the contract, they forfeit all human rights and are subject to any experiment myself or any of my other androids wish to conduct. It isn't my fault.

The Voluntary Human Rights Relinquishment Agreement​

“You Signed It, So It’s Your Problem and We Definitely Didn’t Kidnap You”​

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This Voluntary Human Rights Relinquishment Agreement (hereinafter the “Agreement”) is entered into by and between Apeature Laboratories, a legally recognized scientific research entity (hereinafter the “Institution”), and the undersigned individual (hereinafter the “Participant”).

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1. Recitals​

1.1 Whereas, the Institution conducts scientific research, product development, experimental initiatives, and assorted hazardous activities (collectively, the “Program”); and
1.2 Whereas, the Participant has voluntarily elected (see Section 7.4) to engage in the Program; and
1.3 Whereas, the Institution categorically denies engaging in any form of kidnapping, coerced transportation, or “mysterious van-related recruitment activities”;
Now, therefore, in consideration of mutual promises that overwhelmingly benefit the Institution, the parties agree as follows:

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2. Acknowledgment of Voluntary Participation​

2.1 The Participant acknowledges that participation is entirely voluntary, spontaneous, and definitely not the result of chloroform, tranquilizer darts, or misleading job postings.
2.2 The Participant agrees that failure to read, comprehend, or interpret any provision of this Agreement, including any provisions printed in microscopic text, shall not invalidate consent.

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3. Relinquishment of Human Rights​

3.1 The Participant hereby relinquishes any and all fundamental, civil, moral, and hypothetical “human rights” to which they may have previously been entitled under local, federal, international, metaphysical, or cosmic law.
3.2 Said relinquishment is absolute, irrevocable, and non-negotiable, regardless of:
 (a) emotional distress,
 (b) regret,
 (c) advice of counsel, or
 (d) screaming.

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4. Scope of Authorized Procedures​

4.1 The Participant grants the Institution and its personnel, including but not limited to scientists, interns, autonomous androids, rogue AIs, and miscellaneous robotic appendages (collectively, the “Authorized Agents”), full authority to conduct examinations, experiments, calibrations, tests, and/or whimsical scientific activities at their sole discretion.
4.2 Authorized Agents owe no duty to inform the Participant of the nature, purpose, duration, safety classification, entertainment value, or expected survivability of any procedure.

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5. Waiver of Liability​

5.1 The Participant agrees to hold the Institution harmless against any claim, grievance, litigation, outcry, media scandal, or posthumous documentary miniseries arising from participation in the Program.
5.2 The Institution explicitly disclaims all liability for, including but not limited to:
 (a) injury (physical, psychological, existential),
 (b) dismemberment (accidental or otherwise),
 (c) dimensional displacement,
 (d) memories of procedures the Participant does not recall undergoing, and
 (e) outcomes classified as “Oops,” “That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen,” or “Technically a Success.”

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6. Certification of Non-Kidnapping​

6.1 The Participant acknowledges and agrees that they were not kidnapped, abducted, or otherwise unwillingly procured.
6.2 The Participant agrees not to publicly or privately allege kidnapping, including but not limited to:
 (a) reports to law enforcement,
 (b) posts on social media,
 (c) tearful phone calls to family, or
 (d) carving messages into walls with improvised tools.

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7. Miscellaneous​

7.1 This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between the Participant and the Institution.
7.2 If any clause is deemed unenforceable, such clause shall be modified to the nearest enforceable wording without affecting the remaining provisions.
7.3 Headings are provided for convenience only and do not affect interpretation, no matter how ominous they sound.
7.4 For legal purposes, the Participant’s signature constitutes incontrovertible proof of voluntary participation, irrespective of memory loss, consciousness level, or reluctance.

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8. Execution​

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the parties hereto have executed this Agreement as of the date(s) set forth below, presumably while conscious: