Thanks so much for sharing these feelings! I am glad you're managing to write in both languages again. Overcoming toxic positivity and emotional shock from loved ones is not easy.
I admit I have struggle with writing... When it comes to addressing more objective matters, sure you have seen some long posts from me before, but my feelings overall, that's hard. It's not that I don't think or reflect about them. It's just that translating raw feelings to well written words is like... hard.
...well I did wrote something more poetic recently and you saw it, and to my joy it did transmitted the feeling I was hoping to.
Maybe I can try writing more about other parts of me, little by little.
I have struggles that are a continuity of what I've been carrying for years, maybe finding a way to express them into words could alleviate that. And I mean expressing my feelings, not simply laying out a series of events, because I've done the later before.
It could be... a good thing for me. c: