Ask Me Anything, but I'll Probably Swear More

[Octopus]

Since I have never previously interacted with anyone here, ask me a question and I'll answer. As long as it's not about writing, I hate that.

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

If i pirate a video game and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?

 

[ciro64]

What's the favorite article you wrote and why?

 

[The Calamity]

What is your favorite type of movie?

 

[Little Musician]

How have you been, bro?

 

[Octopus]

If i pirate a video game and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?

Yes they always make a horrifying noise, somewhere between a yelp and a chittering screech, as you confine them to a life shoved into the back of your hard drive, to be played maybe only once then never again as you move on to the next legitimately obtained game. Maybe that's just me.

What's the favorite article you wrote and why?

That's a pretty tough one, I don't know if I can pick one decisive winner. I really liked my Oni review, I think the intro came out very nicely and I think that was the most even in terms of tone where I wasn't too snarky but wasn't too dry. The Final Fight: Streetwise review actually may be up there, I think that was one of my funniest ones to me at least. It's hard to say, there's maybe only been like one or two that I'd say I actually didn't like afterwards, everything else is pretty close together on the tier list for me. Red Ninja for the tiddies.

What is your favorite type of movie?

Horror is definitely up there for sure, I'm a huge slasher and 90's horror fan.

How have you been, bro?

I've been aight, just kicking it back right now as I was going far too hard on writing over the past little bit and was definitely hitting some burnout.

 

[Prism Red]

Which hand do you usually use to wipe your arse?

 

[Octopus]

Which hand do you usually use to wipe your arse?

I do an alternating windmill motion with both arms while bending over, making sure to use both just as equally and using the power of centrifugal force to utterly wipe every particle away. It's a very efficient system.

 

[Sir Auriel of Lionel]

Can you climb a tree? Have you stayed in a tree house?

 

[Octopus]

Can you climb a tree? Have you stayed in a tree house?

I'm really tall so I have an innate climbing advantage, but I'm also out of shape as fuck so I'd probably get pretty tired hoisting myself up after like a few meters. I don't think I've ever actually been in a treehouse, I can't recall any friends having one back when I was kid now that I think about it and I definitely never had one.

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

How many pull-ups can you do?

 

[Octopus]

How many pull-ups can you do?

Probably like 5, my dude.

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

Probably like 5, my dude.

Impressive very nice

 

[RiskyAsh]

If someone hypothetically needed you to come by with tarps, trash bags, a hacksaw, and all the bleach you can fit in your Canadian vehicle, would you show up within the next three hours and this is all a hypothetical but if you could answer quick that would be great and also I've been at Sea World all day and you would testify to that under oath thanks in advance

 

[Octopus]

If someone hypothetically needed you to come by with tarps, trash bags, a hacksaw, and all the bleach you can fit in your Canadian vehicle, would you show up within the next three hours and this is all a hypothetical but if you could answer quick that would be great and also I've been at Sea World all day and you would testify to that under oath thanks in advance

You had me until Sea World, too long they have subjugated my proud ocean brothers (except the orcas, those guys are dicks). Officers, the murderer is right here!

 

[Yousef]

Y’know, this might be embarrassing to ask, but why are you called octopus? Isn’t that the same as me being called human? I mean, imagine if a human baby is born, and their legal name is “human”, wouldn’t that be a problem?

Did you get bullied at school by other octopuses? Do your octopus coworkers give you trouble for your name?
If someone is bothering you, I’ll go intimidate them. Okay I know what you’ll say. You’ll say “but you can’t speak underwater!”, that’s fine, I’ll just “blub blub blub” so hard it’ll scare them off. They tell me I have a really angry face.

What’s your favorite item from timmies?

 

[Ruky]

How long are your tentacles?

 

[OmegaPunch]

Your most favorite fantasy weapon?

 

[Octopus]

How long are your tentacles?

L-like a g-good size, size isn't everything right? Right? Tell me I'm right.

Your most favorite fantasy weapon?

If we're talking about like a specific weapon from something, I'd say Conan's sword from the Schwarzenegger movies. It's just classic sword-and-sorcery design.


If we're talking favourite fantasy weapon type in general, I'm a sucker for fist weapons. I'm down with cestus's and katars any day of the week.

 

[Ruky]

L-like a g-good size, size isn't everything right? Right? Tell me I'm right.


If we're talking about like a specific weapon from something, I'd say Conan's sword from the Schwarzenegger movies. It's just classic sword-and-sorcery design.
View attachment 1064

If we're talking favourite fantasy weapon type in general, I'm a sucker for fist weapons. I'm down with cestus's and katars any day of the week.
View attachment 1065

Hot. Size isn't everything, no. Impressive!