I want to be a good, polite vampire. Where should I start?

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

Please guide me the way.

 

[Octopus]

Alright what you do is get yourself a non-threatening outfit. Too many vampires claim to be 'pro-human' or 'humane blood drinkers' but then get confused when no one believes them, not realizing its all in the outfit and personal presentation; these people walk around in black leather with a cape and don't understand why everyone instinctively stakes them in the heart? Come on. No leather, no capes, or frilly Victorian pirate shirts or whatever. What you want is probably something really unassuming, that looks casual but inviting. My recommendation? A neutral coloured button-down. Has anyone ever been capable of being threatening in one of those? Don't ask questions.


Alright, we got the shirt, now for the legs I'm thinking something a little stylish as you don't want to come off as a boring vampire after all. Polite and non-threatening, but not boring. After some style deliberation, I think what you need is a pair of really tight and colourful wrestling trunks. They say "I'm a cool guy who can do a wicked hurricarana head lock and turn into mist and drink blood, but I don't as I'm trying to be a nice vampire." That's exactly what they say. Don't ask questions.


For the boots? Cowboy boots, hands down. No polite bloodsucker should every be caught undead without a pair of snakeskin cowboy boots. Why? Don't ask questions, come on.


There you go, that's how you be a polite vampire. Everyone's going to look at your sick boots and stylish wrestling trunks and think "now this is a bloodsucker I don't want to stake instinctively in the heart, they seem to unthreatening and polite. Not like those ones wearing skin tight leather and elbow long gloves or whatever." Unless you want them to stake you of course, I don't know what it's like being an immortal undead monster so maybe you want that. I don't judge.

Why did you bother reading this far? I just got bored and shat this out in a minute.

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

Alright what you do is get yourself a non-threatening outfit. Too many vampires claim to be 'pro-human' or 'humane blood drinkers' but then get confused when no one believes them, not realizing its all in the outfit and personal presentation; these people walk around in black leather with a cape and don't understand why everyone instinctively stakes them in the heart? Come on. No leather, no capes, or frilly Victorian pirate shirts or whatever. What you want is probably something really unassuming, that looks casual but inviting. My recommendation? A neutral coloured button-down. Has anyone ever been capable of being threatening in one of those? Don't ask questions.
View attachment 2230

Alright, we got the shirt, now for the legs I'm thinking something a little stylish as you don't want to come off as a boring vampire after all. Polite and non-threatening, but not boring. After some style deliberation, I think what you need is a pair of really tight and colourful wrestling trunks. They say "I'm a cool guy who can do a wicked hurricarana head lock and turn into mist and drink blood, but I don't as I'm trying to be a nice vampire." That's exactly what they say. Don't ask questions.
View attachment 2231

For the boots? Cowboy boots, hands down. No polite bloodsucker should every be caught undead without a pair of snakeskin cowboy boots. Why? Don't ask questions, come on.
View attachment 2232

There you go, that's how you be a polite vampire. Everyone's going to look at your sick boots and stylish wrestling trunks and think "now this is a bloodsucker I don't want to stake instinctively in the heart, they seem to unthreatening and polite. Not like those ones wearing skin tight leather and elbow long gloves or whatever." Unless you want them to stake you of course, I don't know what it's like being an immortal undead monster so maybe you want that. I don't judge.

Why did you bother reading this far? I just got bored and shat this out in a minute.

Sorry broski, but i like my original attire. If i can wear it at work i would.

 

[Octopus]

View attachment 2233
Sorry broski, but i like my original attire. If i can wear it at work i would.

It's a powerful look for sure, but don't complain to me when mortals keep trying to banish you from this realm.

 

[Anim8rDude]

Alright what you do is get yourself a non-threatening outfit. Too many vampires claim to be 'pro-human' or 'humane blood drinkers' but then get confused when no one believes them, not realizing its all in the outfit and personal presentation; these people walk around in black leather with a cape and don't understand why everyone instinctively stakes them in the heart? Come on. No leather, no capes, or frilly Victorian pirate shirts or whatever. What you want is probably something really unassuming, that looks casual but inviting. My recommendation? A neutral coloured button-down. Has anyone ever been capable of being threatening in one of those? Don't ask questions.


Alright, we got the shirt, now for the legs I'm thinking something a little stylish as you don't want to come off as a boring vampire after all. Polite and non-threatening, but not boring. After some style deliberation, I think what you need is a pair of really tight and colourful wrestling trunks. They say "I'm a cool guy who can do a wicked hurricarana head lock and turn into mist and drink blood, but I don't as I'm trying to be a nice vampire." That's exactly what they say. Don't ask questions.


For the boots? Cowboy boots, hands down. No polite bloodsucker should every be caught undead without a pair of snakeskin cowboy boots. Why? Don't ask questions, come on.


There you go, that's how you be a polite vampire. Everyone's going to look at your sick boots and stylish wrestling trunks and think "now this is a bloodsucker I don't want to stake instinctively in the heart, they seem to unthreatening and polite. Not like those ones wearing skin tight leather and elbow long gloves or whatever." Unless you want them to stake you of course, I don't know what it's like being an immortal undead monster so maybe you want that. I don't judge.

Why did you bother reading this far? I just got bored and shat this out in a minute.

How fashionable, must cost you a fortune with 8 legs to style.

Real answer is that you first start off by getting yourself a fancy coffin, whatever style you like. Which kind of decals would you put on?

Then you must acquire a slave... or convert someone. But there's plenty of options around these parts.

 

[Elwiwi]

Vampire?

 

[Scotty]

Step 1: Procure a badass robe (Preferably, a black one)


Step 2: Get some fangs (For bloodsucking)

Step 3: (.................Shit, what was "Step 3" again?)

Step 4: I dunno, binge "Tonari no Kyuuketsuki-san"? (It's got cute vampire girls.)

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

Vampire?
View attachment 2235

Dont tempt me to link it

 

[Elwiwi]

Dont tempt me to link it

I mean peak should be shared with everyone

 

[MasterEn]

Please guide me the way.

just be polite and friendly. it works for my vampire characters.

 

[Viviana Oliveira Santos]

Talk to this guy!

 

[MasterEn]

Talk to this guy!

i don't know what i just watched, but i am sad that it ended too soon.

 

[GardeniaSky]

Always ask before you suck

 

[Prism Red]

Good? Polite?
Nah, it's hopeless for you.

 

[RiskyAsh]

Always ask before you suck

That's a big "Thumbs Up" for consensual sucking.

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

Good? Polite?
Nah, it's hopeless for you.

Owari da...